She's a Brick....wall.

Well hells bells. I ran head first into a huge, solid brick wall today. I don't know if it's the changing seasons or the fact that the wedding countdown is flirting with 50, but I hit it. Hard. I had a melt down of seemingly epic proportions. I have been working out fairly consistently since January. My diet has been relatively on point (minus a little chocolate here and there). My body hasn't changed in the least, in my eyes. Granted, I feel much better and have tons more energy - hard to believe, I know. HOWEVER, I am sleeping horribly and am currently gaining those precious #s that I thought I would be losing like crazy. I get that I'm lifting heavy sh!t so my body is gaining muscle. That's all well and good, except I have a number in my head that I wanted to weigh for the wedding. Turns out, working out the way I do, that was is unrealistic. I'm ok with this as long as I loose inches on my waist. BUT I'M NOT. I don't see any change in my body from the beginning of the year. This, as it turns out, is incredibly disappointing. It all came to a head while trying on dresses for a bachelorette party deal thing. I don't really like the way any of the dresses look on my body; either my boobs are too big, the dress makes me look preggers, or all I can see in the mirror is  things I want to change. Fail.

So I freaked out a little today. Ok, fine. I'm not going to be this goal weight (probably ever). I could get there, but I'd have to eat nothing but grilled chicken, egg whites, and a crap ton of veggies and run a bajillion miles everyday: ie, hate my life. Everyone knows I despise running. Plus, I really enjoy trying new foods. Even more than new foods, I love eating classics like my momma's chicken parm or a delicious hot fudge sundae. So I decided something today. If I am not going to be at this unrealistic goal weight, I'm going to give myself a little more leeway in my diet. Don't get me wrong, most days of the week, I'll still have a home cooked meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, if I'm craving ice cream, I might just indulge - just not as frequently as I'd like.

All that being said, we just finished a delicious meal, if I do say so myself. I got the recipe (Salmon Kabayaki) from Elana's Pantry. If you have yet to visit her site, do it. It's gluten free and she's brilliant. I have made so many of her dishes. She has a lot of great desserts as well. Which, if you are like me, trying to find a "healthy" dessert is a nearly impossible, but necessary, task. These are all the ingredients I used (minus salt and pepper).

The original recipe calls for ume plum vinegar; since I didn't have that, I used plain white vinegar and added a little salt. My only piece of advice is to make sure you pat the salmon down really well before adding it to the pan. I had a little incident with the smoke detector and flying hot oil. For the cauliflower, I just cut it up, threw olive oil, salt, and pepper on it and threw it in the oven. (the drink was my dessert tonight: strawberry vodka, strawberry sparkling water, and a strawberry. delish!) Here's how it turned out:

I really enjoyed dinner tonight. It was relatively simple and the salmon only took a total of 4 minutes to cook. Can't get much better than that after getting a power snatch pr!

cheers!