sweetie pie

screw flowers - this is the bouquet I want!

 

Whenever I'm told that I can't have something, it's like pushing that 1 thing to the forefront of my mind. It's all I can think about. I'll obsess over it. It's currently happening. All I can think about is some delicious, decadent dessert. Zach keeps informing me that it will be worth it come May 27, but I'm skeptical. I really like anything sweet. My mind is filled with ice cream (waffle cone wednesday with mint chip & cookies and cream or, mmmm a hot fudge sundae), scotcharoos (made by my future aunt), and a strawberry shortcake. O. MY. GOODNESS. Delish! I am sorry if anyone is trying to avoid sweets like the plague; I'm sure that this post didn't help. My deliciousness today was honey covered strawberries. It was good, but did not satisfy my sweet tooth. Looks like I'll be visiting Elana's Pantry tomorrow to make something yummy and sweet. Hopefully, Zach doesn't complain too much. ha.

She's a Brick....wall.

Well hells bells. I ran head first into a huge, solid brick wall today. I don't know if it's the changing seasons or the fact that the wedding countdown is flirting with 50, but I hit it. Hard. I had a melt down of seemingly epic proportions. I have been working out fairly consistently since January. My diet has been relatively on point (minus a little chocolate here and there). My body hasn't changed in the least, in my eyes. Granted, I feel much better and have tons more energy - hard to believe, I know. HOWEVER, I am sleeping horribly and am currently gaining those precious #s that I thought I would be losing like crazy. I get that I'm lifting heavy sh!t so my body is gaining muscle. That's all well and good, except I have a number in my head that I wanted to weigh for the wedding. Turns out, working out the way I do, that was is unrealistic. I'm ok with this as long as I loose inches on my waist. BUT I'M NOT. I don't see any change in my body from the beginning of the year. This, as it turns out, is incredibly disappointing. It all came to a head while trying on dresses for a bachelorette party deal thing. I don't really like the way any of the dresses look on my body; either my boobs are too big, the dress makes me look preggers, or all I can see in the mirror is  things I want to change. Fail.

So I freaked out a little today. Ok, fine. I'm not going to be this goal weight (probably ever). I could get there, but I'd have to eat nothing but grilled chicken, egg whites, and a crap ton of veggies and run a bajillion miles everyday: ie, hate my life. Everyone knows I despise running. Plus, I really enjoy trying new foods. Even more than new foods, I love eating classics like my momma's chicken parm or a delicious hot fudge sundae. So I decided something today. If I am not going to be at this unrealistic goal weight, I'm going to give myself a little more leeway in my diet. Don't get me wrong, most days of the week, I'll still have a home cooked meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, if I'm craving ice cream, I might just indulge - just not as frequently as I'd like.

All that being said, we just finished a delicious meal, if I do say so myself. I got the recipe (Salmon Kabayaki) from Elana's Pantry. If you have yet to visit her site, do it. It's gluten free and she's brilliant. I have made so many of her dishes. She has a lot of great desserts as well. Which, if you are like me, trying to find a "healthy" dessert is a nearly impossible, but necessary, task. These are all the ingredients I used (minus salt and pepper).

The original recipe calls for ume plum vinegar; since I didn't have that, I used plain white vinegar and added a little salt. My only piece of advice is to make sure you pat the salmon down really well before adding it to the pan. I had a little incident with the smoke detector and flying hot oil. For the cauliflower, I just cut it up, threw olive oil, salt, and pepper on it and threw it in the oven. (the drink was my dessert tonight: strawberry vodka, strawberry sparkling water, and a strawberry. delish!) Here's how it turned out:

I really enjoyed dinner tonight. It was relatively simple and the salmon only took a total of 4 minutes to cook. Can't get much better than that after getting a power snatch pr!

cheers!